be still my heart…

Unremembered, yesterday is extinct.
Without yesterday, today has no meaning.
Who are you, if forgotten?
Who are you, but a sum of your memories?

In a world where not a lot of things make sense, and those precious few that do can’t really help us in our quiet desperate flailing for something called “normality”, it seems that the simplest things in life acts as a balm to the soul – easing away the pain, soothing the anger, quenching the disappointments.

Just for that blissful moment, everything is on pause – the world is black, and there’s nothing more but the heated hands, a firm but delicate warmth that strengthens the body and clears the mind, and a delightfully light bergamont fragance slow-dancing on the tongue.

Ahhh, early grey tea… thou dost wonderous things. Who would have known? I think I’m beginning to understand the English’s obsession for tea – especially during a tough situation *thinks of Arthur Dent* hehe.

~**~  Be still my heart, I know not what the future brings.
Be still and quiet, lest thou may be broken -
Lest they knowst what lies in their hands
And cast thee upon the cold, hard ground,
Once too oft, then bitterly shatter.

Mayhap they knowst not of the precious gift given -
Unwittingly crushing it with their ignorance,
Then gaze upon thine jagged pieces, bewildered.
Be still my heart, I know not what the future brings.
Be still and quiet, lest thou may be broken…

of ra-!

After a many squillions of times that I’ve called people “Ra-!” and they’d look at me either bemusedly or rather offendedly – depending on what gender they are (and usually accompanied by, “Oi! I ain’t Ram!”) – I’ve come to realise something: I use BM’s name as an exclamation. I’m actually quite embarrassed about this, even more so now that I KNOW why I begin to say, “Ra-!” but promptly stop because the other person is definitely not BM. General Hobo and BM, who I’ve told my theory to, thought it was heaps hilarious, especially when I do it in front of them. My brother, who I do it to all the time cuz he’s always doing something I don’t want him to, gets annoyed, but takes it rather good-naturedly.

Does that mean I’m hanging around BM too much? O_o I fretted about this, but then I thought, maybe it’s because his name is just one simple syllable, and you can stretch it out longer and add inflection onto that one syllable. It’s kinda is versatile if you think of it. You can’t really do something like that with 2 or more syllable name… well, technically you can… but let’s not talk about that. (^_^;;)

~**~
Saturday night was Retro night! =D Pitter organised it at the Bristol Arms, Retro Hotel and so a whole bunch of Peer Networkers came. It was a slow night to begin with. Maybe it was because when I met up with BM after my crappy Marketing Foundations exam, I realised that I either had: a) left the free ticket coupon for 2 at home or b) it fell out of my ever over-flowing bag. Either way, we didnt’ have the free movie coupon and Ram was like, we can still go see a movie you know, but we worked out that neither of us wanted to use our OTHER free movie tickets that we won from Trivia Night oh-so-long ago on Amityville Horror. Hehe, we suck and so stingy sometimes. So… we ended up bumming around, with lots of walking. I wanted to show him the toilets that Victoria Galleries have – they’re so awesome – but it was only opened during trading hours. Boo to them =P

We were one of the few people who got there first, others came later. There was a big confusion over where the Retro dancefloor was, cuz all they were playing at that time was all dance. The girls found out that there was going to be RnB and that it was upstairs, so they all trooped upways. Pitter was not impressed and let me know the what-for. I felt bad, he said to me that I could go if I wanted to and that he wouldn’t hold it against me. Ugh. Thanks Pitter for puttin me between a rock and a hard place. =P It was one of the reasons for his grrness that night.

But it all ended well, the Retro dancefloor was upstairs and we all had a ball =) BM’s afro wig was a slut and was on everyone’s head (yes, I know that sounds gross… but none of us cared at that point). It was pretty fun, minus the domestic BM and I had. It was a little one, but it was a domestic nonetheless. Blah, me and my stupid insecurities.

You know when you know something’s not true and rationally and logically you know what’s really going on, but emotionally you believe otherwise? What’s that all about anyways? It’s so annoying. (>_<#) It makes me feel retarded and renders us both incapable of enjoying ourselves to the fullest (somehow, whenever I use the word "render", "incapable" surely would need to follow o_Oa ). I felt bad when Pvt. Paranoia sms'ed me asking what I was doing that night, "BM! We should have called the gurls to come too! We suck!" =( He heartily agreed. *Mental note to self: invite the gurls when PN stuff happens*

~**~
I had $70 stolen out of my wallet yesterday. *not happy jan* I’m so stupid. I left it in the darkroom in my bag, thinking that it’ll be okay – everyone’s working, who’s gonna have time to steal something? I trusted them. I had faith that they wouldn’t steal anything off me… Am I being naive? *Sighs* anyways, just today, i realised that they also stole the $15 HMV voucher that I had as well (>_<#). Bah!